My dad had a stroke about 7 years ago. I remember the exact date and what I was doing. It was July 14, 2000 and I was living in my first apartment. It was around 7am and I was asleep. My cell phone rang and I saw that it was my mom calling. Instead of answering it nicely, or even concerned that my mom would call me so early - I yelled at her. I was screaming at her about how ridiculous it was that she would dare to call me so early. There was no response. She was sobbing. My dad had a heart attack.
I sped down to the ER only to see my dad with tons of tubes and needles in him. I broke down. My dad just smiled and said, "hey kid - I'm okay. There's no need to cry." My mom repeatedly kept telling the doctors that my dad had collapsed and hit his head pretty hard on the floor. Nobody listened to her.
They rushed him to another hospital for an angioplasty. Quick and easy is what the doctors told us. After the surgery, my dad was in the recovery room and my mom noticed that he was acting strangely. My brother and I dismissed her claims and said, "he's just coming off the anesthesia" but she kept pressing the issue. Finally, she called in a nurse... who immediately called in a doctor. My dad was having a stroke.
There are lots of messy details that followed but I won't share them because I'll probably start crying! The culprit of the stroke (aside from an unhealthy lifestyle) was the head trauma from falling on the floor and the blood thinners that were administered to him... because it caused his brain to bleed. Luckily - my dad survived but it was a long recovery.
He's a different man now. His health has declined since that time and continually gets worse. He's frail. He's weak. Its heartbreaking to know that I probably don't have much time left with him.
With that said, I've spent the last few years neglecting my own family for The Mr.'s family on holidays. Why? My parents weren't too big on holidays and I wanted The Mr.'s family to like me. After the "incident", I realized that I was such a turd of a daughter. I mean, how awesome were my parents to be okay with me putting them on the back burner? They knew what I was doing and they didn't take it personally. And they totally supported me through the wedding planning. When the "incident" occurred, my dad was ready to throw down and just said some of the most amazing things to me that made me feel like a horse's ass for neglecting him for the last few years.
This Father's Day, I'm spending the day with my dad. It wasn't up for debate and The Mr. totally understood. I didn't expect The Mr. to not spend it with his own father or anything. So - he's going to his dad's and I'll be doing yardwork at my dad's (which would be a mother's day gift since its my mom who is bugging me about the yard but whatever).
Pictures of my dad at the wedding
Since this is an ode to my dad, here are some pics of him at the wedding.
My dad told me at the wedding that every girl there had to be jealous of me because I was such a knockout. Aw - thanks, dad.
Oh and completely unrelated. Doesn't this picture of Bob Barker just break your heart? It totally broke mine. I'll miss him!
3 comments:
I don't think you're overreacting. Spend the day with your dad, don't hang out with your in-laws. Q can suck it. ;)
And, yes, please appreciate your dad. Mine is no longer here and I miss him dearly, especially this time of year when I'm bombarded with reminders about Father's Day.
Your dad, your day. I don't see anything wrong with you guys just doing your own family things separately for the day, especially since it's so important to you to be with your dad.
I don't think you're over-reacting at all. You saying you're spending time with your dad should have ended the discussion as to whether or not you were going to be there with her family at all (like it did when you told the Mr.). She wouldn't want her son to not show up on Father's Day, why wouldn't your parents feel the same way. And... it's FATHER'S DAY! how does his dad feel about you not being there to be with your own dad? He probably doesn't mind and is understanding.
I agree, spend Father's Day with your Dad. I don' see how the Mr's Dad could possibly take offense. If Q takes it personally than too bad, it's not her place to be offended anyway.
I too have gotten closer to my father since he had his accident a few years ago. I say spend the day with your pops because you never know when your time will be up.
I get all weepy every time I hear the Mike + The Mechanics song "The Living Years" amd have to call my Dad and tell him I love him. I'm sure he thinks I'm nuts, but who cares. :)
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