I was chatting (well... e-mailing but for me its almost the same as chatting) with my old college roommate, Angie, yesterday. Angie, like some other girls I know, has done something I totally admire in that she wanted to make a change and move to a city she's always dreamed of living in (Chicago) and she did it. She quit her job, found a new one, packed her shit and moved. I wish I had her lady balls. But that's not the point of this post.
She mentioned that she rejoined MySpace as a method to stay in better touch with people. You know - I had made that claim once too but I really just used it as a tool to cyberspy on people from my past (Holy crap! She has a baby?! Wow - did you see how fat they got?) and set my profile to private hoping to not really reconnect with many people.
So she told me that her ex's brother (who I used to have a wee bit of a crush on) just had a baby. Well, his wife just had a baby. She then went onto mention that she found another guy that was in that circle of friends (I loved this guy but not in that way) and then...
She mentioned an ex. She said, "It looks like he got married" and that's not entirely shocking because we dated over 7 years ago and he's 33 now but it was weird. I was hit with a feeling of... disappointment.
Now let me explain.
I don't ever wish to get back together with anyone I've ever dated (hi honey! I love you and am happy that I married you!) but I like to think that I've left a bloody mess of broken hearts along the way to meeting The Mr. and that perhaps each of my fellas are still nursing their wounds. They're still comparing every new girl they meet to me because I am obviously their standard for awesomeness. So when I hear they've gotten married and such, I can't help but feel a little disappointed.
I know it's sick.
My high school boyfriend contacted me about 2 months ago. It was totally random and awkward. Even MORE awkward was him suggesting that we (me, The Mr, him and his gf) all get together for dinner to reminisce about old times. Now - reminiscing about old times would require all 4 of us to partake but it only 2 of us could really do so... and that would just be weird. We used to have sex!
I mean - there's a girl that comes around every so often that I know The Mr. hooked up with and I am not threatened in the least but I am not going to lie... everytime I see her I think, "I can't believe you guys hooked up." and then have a moment of picturing it. I know - it's sick!
Okay, and now I don't really know where I was going with this post. So - am I crazy? Or do you ever have these moments (where you're either disappointed to hear that an ex has gotten married OR your can't help but picture you current beau with a past lover)?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
Yes - I have both moments. Actually my ex is still single and part of me is happy about it. I feel like a terrible person admitting it - but I can't help it.
Additionally - one of the boy's exes in particular is the one I can't stand. She still comes in and out of his life and she's not the best of people, so inevitably I think "you were with HER?!" and then he thinks I'm crazy for even thinking about it.
He also hooked up with a girl that had fake boobies and I often make fun of him for hooking up with a ho! (the fake boobies part doesn't make her a ho - it's the other stuff that she does that makes her that).
i agree on the ex moving on thing. it'd be kinda nice in a sick way to think there should be a trail of tears and broken hearts.
we are the ones who got away!!
i'd like to think that mj (not michael jackson, but mrs. twink knows who i'm talking about) is still pining and kicking himself for what a stupid ass he was. but he's not - the cheater is engaged and i feel like he messed up so he doesn't deserve the same kind of happiness that i do. luckily, i am so completely happy with my life and where things have gone for me, i am actually kinda grateful (and not bitter at all, though that statement really sounded like it) that it didn't work out cause then i wouldn't have started dating my fiance.
Yes to both. I am completely happy with the relationship I am in, but when confronted with either (my or his exes), my mind does play the various scenarios out...
I wasn't exactly sad when my ex high school sweetheart told me he was getting married, but I was taken aback when he invited us to the wedding. We declined, sent a small gift and didn't invite them to ours. It'd be one thing if we were friends, but we weren't and I just imagine that would be awkward, much like the double-dating scenario your ex wanted.
It's totally natural, and guys do it all the time too. I break out exes into three categories, usually: those who screwed me over, those I screwed over, and those that it just died a natural death.
For the exes that screwed me over, I usually derive a bit of pleasure when they have relationship failures. Petty, I know. But true. Sad, but true. I had one in particular who was cheating on me with some scumbag heroin addict who was cool because he was in a band and played hockey. When she got mired down in his drama, I secretly smiled. I smiled even more when her next boyfriend cheated on her. Retribution does not wear a wrist watch.
For the ones I screwed over and I see that they're not having a good go of things, I'm usually stricken with a mixed sense of responsibility (Did I start this downward spiral with my dastardly actions?) and narcissism (If they were still with me, they'd be so much better off).
I think narcissim is the determining factor here though. Who is cooler than me? Who is cooler than Mrs. Twink? How could they ever get over someone as awesome as me? There are certain people that will always hold a spot in your life. However latent your feelings might be and however strong your feelings are with the new person, there is still a part of you that will always have history with that person. It's natural to feel disappointment when someone moves on because the way we perceive it is that they've erased the chapter of their lives starring us. Mark my words, they probably felt the same disappointment when they saw that you were now happily married.
I'm inc constant wonder of what ex's are up to. I think it's rather masochistic of me.
I love my husband and wouldn't trade him for the world though :)
I think this is typical. I get that way too. It's not sick at all! I'm thinking of writing a series dedicated to my exes...could be quite humorous.
it's normal to feel that way. the last boyfriend i had was married within a year of us breaking up. now that hit me hard! and the guy before him, i talk to once in awhile, and he's in a serious relationship and he just recently told me that he has found himself comparing her to me. i think it's just human nature.
OMG this happens to me ALL THE TIME!! I remember when the ex love of my life really shitted on my hopes, dreams, and worst of all, my heart. I practically prayed for his downfall! Yes I've had many boyfriends and "interests" since then, but the fact is "No one plays CAG and gets away with it!" Perhaps I never got over it because out of all my exes, he is the only one that never tried to get back with me. Ugh! How dare he! They all come back!
So last I heard he was still broke,no job, complete loser (yes!) But get this, he had a kid with the bitch that he cheated on me with! (which I found out after the fact) Grant it I found out like five years after we broke up, but that didn't stop me from wanting to find him and throw his fucking kid into dumpster or, even worse, the toilet. Harsh I know, but I was angry!
Ultimately I got over it. (Thank God) However, I will always think I'm the best woman any of my exes have been with in life! I am "THE UPGRADER" and anything else would just be uncivilized. LOL In fact, my next blog will be dedicated to exes and how I'm glad I left them. "Ode to the exes...Glad I fucking left them!" LOL
Okay I so didn't plan for this comment to be this long. LOL
I LOVE your honesty in your writing. It's funny, witty and genuine - you should write a book.
you are definitely not alone. i think everyone checks myspace and facebook with these exact intentions. i know i do!
I prefer to think that they've given up on finding anything as great as I am so they must turn to the next girl they find and never let her go, lest they live the rest of their life crying over TWO girls who got away....
it's happier to think of it that way :)
Well. I wasn't so much disappointed that an ex of mine had gotten married, but more annoyed that this would mean he would be gloating in his head and erroneously smugly thinking that I was the pathetic one for dumping him, still single (because I was while he was engaged), and unable to commit. you know, while he was all getting married and stuff. for a moment during that single time while he was engaged I thought to myself that maybe I was the one with the problem and that I would be destined to be alone because I couldn't commit.
Of course, then I met Factor and realized it truly has to be the right person for you not to cut and run. I have no designs on ever not being with Factor. And I definitely felt a tiny bit of empathy for the wife of my ex when I saw a video he had posted to his site of he and his friends shot gunning an assload of beer while golfing. and basically acting like it was a monster turd rally.
There is a reason we throw these guys back.
Oh, I'm the worst with that! I try to do everything in my power not to picture my hubs with anyone else, but it's kind of hard not to when you're face to face with the person!
Post a Comment