In Need of Tim Gunn

Do you own a piece of clothing that you just absolutely love but that doesn't really flatter you? And yet - you continue to wear it oblivious to just how unflattering that piece of clothing is on you?

Ladies and gents, I am a pack-rat with body image issues. What does this mean? I hoard clothing and end up picking outfits that I think camouflage my waistline (or lack thereof). What ends up happening is that I end up adding 10 lbs to my body and questionably look pregnant.

What brought this on? I finally got around to uploading pictures from Kristin & Jackson's wedding rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and couldn't help but notice just how awful my dress looked. I've worn this dress to a wedding previously and didn't react nearly this badly to it. I wore it to Ian & Katie's wedding rehearsal but paired it with a tight-fit cardigan and belt (so I didn't notice the large, unflattering pouf) but this? Oh no…

I bring you a montage of "Is she pregnant?" pictures of me and my beloved dress:


This look isn't so bad. That's me on the right. You can't tell too much.


Yikes! It probably doesn't help that I'm slouching and wearing flip-flops but seriously?


I might as well be pregnant! I'm not. But I might as well be. Kristin is wearing one of my dresses and I would have been better off with that one. Oy.


Yarg! I'm huge!

I know that Tim Gunn would totally disapprove.

I'm not sure why I thought this was flattering? I think I was mesmorized by the empire waist, cute pattern and sweet sale price.

And the top of it is so cute…


I think I'll store this away until I am actually pregnant (if that ever happens) because clearly, that's what this dress was intended to be… a maternity dress!

Do any of you have a piece of clothing that you love to wear but looks terrible?

Grumpy Pants

I've been really irritable lately. I think the combination of school (seriously, how much can I complain about my poor time management with school?) and all the upcoming crap is just getting to me.

So what do I want to do?

I want to punch people. I want to hit them with my car. I want to throw my books at them. And as an added bonus? Maybe I could even vomit all over them as they lay unconscious from my severe beating.

Yesterday some fuckwit abrubtly stopped his car in the parking lot, blocking the entrance into the parking spaces.


That is my artistic rendition of the scenario. And no, I'm not selling any prints at this time.

I'm not quite sure what made me angrier... the fact that he neglected the wide open space to park his car or the fact that he got out of his car, saw me sitting there and proceeded to take his sweet time getting out and letting his girlfriend take the car. Regardless, I almost ran him over.

Next up? My stupid f'n teammates! Seriously - how many times can I convey that I "must have all information before the weekend" because that's when I work on homework before they'll actually listen to me?

And yesterday the gym was out of hot water. What were my options? Not shower or suck it up. So I had a nice cold punch in the face yesterday morning. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good afterwards.



Lastly - someone announced that I have "bad gas" to a room full of people that don't really know me well. Seriously? Seriously.

Anywho - since I'm feeling extra bitchy over stupid shit, what makes you want to punch someone/run them over?

I think if I saw a girl walking down the hall in Uggs and a skirt, I'd probably lose it. Sorry girls (and a lot of my friends own these), Uggs are heinous. Nothing about them is cute. They are awful awful shoes and just make your feet look HUGE. If your feet are really that cold, invest in some good socks.

And really, if its warm enough for a skirt - there is no need for the boots! Make up your mind!


Aaaarrgh!

** update **

Okay, so I reread what I wrote and I sound like a total douchebag. So, what is making me happy today...

- There's a new Jesus Camp-type documentary out called "The Lord's Bootcamp". Why does this make me happy? It makes me feel like I'm not the only crazy person around.

- Apparently there was some "economic stimulus" package approved. Sometimes I think my head has been shoved up my ass for awhile because I didn't know about this and I realized the other day that I didn't know who the Secretary of State was. I mean, I know who Condoleeza Rice is but I didn't know her official title. I thought she was just a sassy black woman who dressed well. Who knew?

- Mort sent me a link to this album.

- I haven't had any gas issues since moving into my new office space. I guess being closely surrounded by people that don't know me well has had a positive effect on my intestines.

Phew. Okay - Maybe I'm not so angry but Uggs are still stupid.