Sorry for my lack in posts. I've been in a funk lately (this happens quite a bit, doesn't it?)
Don't worry - I do have something planned soon. Its not THAT exciting unless you're me but there are going to be some changes to this blog. I'm finally going to follow through with something I set out to do. Go me! Actually - I shouldn't be getting all "go me!" just yet since I still haven't done anything.
Friday, I met up with Angie for lunch. Angie was my college roommate for 2 years and is still one of my favorite people. She's the sweetest person you'll ever meet and helps me to be a nicer person. I really needed that last week because I've started to turn into a cranky, catty negative turd and I'm not really liking myself for it.
Angie just recently up and moved to Chicago. She had just gotten accepted into optometry school in Philly and then was faced with, "oh crap! I don't think this is what I want to do with my life..." and she moved. Maybe some folks would view that as not being responsible, but I'm in total awe of her bravery. She was just going through the motions of what she thought she was supposed to do instead of what she wanted to do.
We had a nice chat and I told her I was in that boat. I'm back in school and while some people have commended me for it... I'm really just going through the motions. I'm 27 years old and I don't really know what I want to do. Shouldn't I have it figured out by now?
She (and I've heard this before from my oldest friend, Juli) even said, "I never pictured you being where you are right now." And mostly that means, "I never thought you'd end up at a 9-5 desk job." Its so true. How did I end up here? I didn't want to go to college. I wanted to travel. I was forced into college and I just kind of stayed on this path out of obligation.
Don't get me wrong - I don't hate my job. I work at a great company and like the people I work with a lot. I've got great benefits, its stable... blah blah blah... but I just feel so... bored. And this is how I'm feeling about my life in general these days. I'm lucky that The Mr. is so willing to make any change to support me (and its probably due to his moving around a lot during his childhood anyways) but I'm scared.
So anywho - I think I might actually spend the next few months really thinking about what it is that I want, where I want to be, who I want to be and perhaps even follow through with a few things. I've turned into a whiny, negative, catty, complaining slacker and I just don't like me anymore.
Wow - that was a bit much, no? So tell me about your weekend! Let's lighten the mood, shall we?
Here's a highlight from MY weekend. Last night we played broomball and I scored my first goal EVER. The only problem? I scored it on OUR OWN TEAM! Go me. We still won though but wow.
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10 comments:
~*aww kimmie! you're gonna be fine! i'm glad i *inspired you a bit. some people think i'm still crazy for leaving everything and ending up here in chicago w/ a suitcase and a dream...not knowing what the dream was! but i'm glad i did it. hey, worst case scenerio...i move back. life's short...i think its important to follow your heart when its screaming at you to take a chance. love ya girl~!
Aww Twinks it'll be okay. Okay I'll be the first to lighten up the mood a bit.
So what did I do this weekend? I'll tell ya! I am now the proud owner of the 'Decandent Indulgence 3'! (Don't google it at work...lol) It is the best $130 I've spent in life and I have no freakin regrets! I'm tired of dealing with men with bruised egos. It was either give up my blog while kissing their unappreciative asses or find my own continuoys 'source' of happiness. So I'm a happy camper right about now. Funny huh?
I'm totally blogging about it..LMAO
Damn! I guess I was the second. Angie is quick! :-)
Oh, I feel you on this one. Good luck with figuring it out!
As for my weekend? Hmmmm... A highlight... Going to lunch with friends and realizing it took over 5 hours when I left the apartment to find that the sun had already set!
I think everyone goes through this in life. I think it's great for you to recognize that you might be due for a change in career and take a step back to look at it!
Didn't that feel good? You gotta wax all morose and wtf am I doing with my life to get the ball rolling, I think. I read your post and I am fairly certain I was nodding the whole time. This was reinforced by the fact that someone offered to get me a spoon in case i was having a seizure. But really though, I go through this questioning of my self and my path and my direction and my TRUE HONEST WANTS in life frequently, not occasionally. I think it's good to always check yourself before you riggidy wreck yourself. I know that even if... WHEN ... I get my new job I'll do the same. Am I where I really want to be, is this the path that IIII chose or am I still living for someone else?
I think I'm finally on the right road, and I have to say it's because of photography's place in my life. In high school I was in band and drama AND choir (ok bite me, I was on the speech team too) and I had all of these creative outlets. now I'm an adult and what what? where are those? Your insides get frustrated! I'll bet your mind is opening up all these other possibilities just because of your new best friend, that little black guy with one big eye.. your camera!
That's how I feel anyway. And you know what, at least your self aware. There are people who go throughlife doing what they were told to do by their coach or their dad or their crazy uncle Frank who kisses too wetly. They're the ones who end up on rock of love or The Bad Girls Club.
anyway, I don't know where the hell I just tangented from, but I DO know that i feel you sister, in all the right ways.
I ask myself that all the time. I was going to go to college and then have an awesome job, live somewhere cool, travel a lot. What am I doing now? None of that.
Good for you for analyzing it all. Maybe I should do the same.
i'ma keep my mouth shut cause if i don't, i'll just add my funk to yours and two funks don't make a right ... or something like that.
things'll get better, doll. <3
we want the funk! give us the funk! gotta have that funk.
OK, I have to stop stalking comments.
It if makes you feel any better, hon, I am right there with you. Or rather, I think I might know what I want to do, but we wouldn't be able to afford me leaving a good paying job to find out if that's what I really want to do. Kudos to you for taking the first step in figuring things out :)
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