I Brought My Stomping Boots

I know I haven't finished my whole woe is me, I hate what I'm doing for a living right now because I'm not feeling personally fulfilled crap but this is something that is just way too good and I can't possibly not blog about it.

This is my last full week of school. I have a final presentation tonight (for my semester long SQL project) and a final presentation on Thursday (for my software testing class). I only have one final exam (yippeee!) next Monday. It feels good to be done.

I think I've mentioned that I'm not terribly fond of my SQL group. The fuckwit (fw) from last semester that didn't do any work is in this group and it wasn't by my invitation. Anywho - to sum up the nuttiness that has been taking place over the last 2 weeks, I will list it out with fun bullets:

- Out of 27 procedures to code, fw signed up for 2.
- We, as a group, decided 2 weeks ago that we'd stay after class to do some peer testing of our code since the final presentation is tonight. We ALL agreed. The prof concluded class early (1 hr 15 min) so we could work on it. FW gave some excuse about how he can't stay because he has a kid. Let's just say that's a hot button issue for me (it's not my fault you have kids and it doesn't make my time any less valuable, jerk!) and I blew up and yelled at him to leave.
- A girl, let's call her Panic Room (pr), has taken on a lead role in this group but hasn't really added much value outside of flooding my inbox with panic-stricken messages about broken code and WHAT!ARE!WE!GOING!TO!DO!
- PR and FW have been sparring back and forth a bit about broken code and lack of contribution

So... much to my pleasant surprise, after sorting through the 20 panic-filled e-mails from PR I saw this exchange:

From: FW
To: Entire Group

could any one of you tell me where the mistake is by looking at this function because this works for me and it worked for [Twink] except what she found.

The last part of that email was unnecessary. Think about it.

From: PR
To: FW
CC: Rest of Group

IT'S NOT WORKING! Did you check this?
[school crap]

I just spent my entire afternoon at work testing YOUR procedures SEVERAL
times, even though I have actual work at my job to do. Alright, [FW]?
Maybe [Twink] didn't test this part. Sometimes the more testing you do the
more things you uncover. So don't take this defensively, [FW]. The fact
is that there ARE errors with your code. It shouldn't be recalling every
single transaction that had used that issue_id even though the transaction
was returned. What's not necessary is that your code is still
significantly flawed at the 11th hour before the project is due. What's
not necessary is that we ([Twink] and I) still have to do that much testing on
your code, because it shouldn't be that wrong at this point of the
project. I can understand some little mistakes here and there, but this is
so wrong.


At this point, I am cracking up. She's definitely provoking him and being a tad crappy but she's not really saying anything that I'm NOT thinking. But it gets better.

Apparently he responded directly to her after that e-mail with this:

To: PR
From: FW
Its not the the 11th hour [PR]. Think about it. Nobody asked you to do all that testing. Its good that you did but nobody asked you. Everybody is not perfect, PR, so curb your stanking attitude, for real. Stick to the issue. I asked you what I could possibly do to fix it. If you can help then help. Keep your smart ass comments to your self. Thanks.

I have to say, I kind of agreed with him. She was getting a little out of line. But she took this e-mail and CC'ed the rest of the group on her reply:

From: PR
To: FW
CC: Rest of Group
In regards to your message:

You know what [FW]. I have enough of YOUR stinking attitude. I think
the entire team has enough of YOUR stinking attitude.

Maybe you, not me, should be the one testing your code. And since you
didn't, someone is picking up your slack. Why don't you shove it up your
ass?

I don't recommend that you continue to send me or anyone of us nasty
emails when you know you are entirely slacking on this project and turning
up shitty work. I think you know that your grade is on the line here. If
not, let me remind you that we have the right to veto you out of this
project so that you will get major points deducted. Okay? So, if you can't
be responsible for your own action, maybe you should at least be nicer. If
you can't be a professional, then just shut up.

Seriously - I was dying. She was definitely out of line but here is the absolute best part of the whole exchange:

From: FW
To: PR
CC: Rest of Group

I told you to watch your mouth. My grade is just fine. I did everything assigned to me. I can Prove that. My wife is going to be there to show you whose ass to shove it up.

Did he really just threaten her with his wife?! Hahaha! We are in graduate school! He is a PARENT. Hysterical!

How do I attract these nutjobs to be in my group? So, she wrote me and said she was a little nervous because she had never been threatened before. I told her I'd have her back (she's a tiny little thing) and even packed my Timberlands (oh yes, I went there) just in case I need them.

Hahahah - what a great way to end the semester!