CBFTA

The older I get, the less patience I have for bullshit. I have put my foot in my mouth a number of times (and as Geoff said, "I've noticed that your mouth gets you into some trouble") and quite frankly, it's starting to irritate me.

And no, I don't mean my mouth is irritating me. I mean the reactions I am receiving to the things that I spew (verbal diarrhea if you will) are what irritate me.

I am an open book. It's hard for me to keep anything about myself a secret from anyone because what's the point? I'm trying to think of something horribly embarrassing to share with all of you right now just to prove my point but I can't think of anything. Hmmm… I'll just make a quick list of embarrassing things:

- When I was a freshman in high school, I had a SERIOUS crush (think borderline stalker) on a ridiculously HOT Puerto Rican senior. Even typing that gave me goosebumps. I would follow him in the halls adoringly. I even wore my friend's Adidas skirt to school one day because he had complimented her once on it. I swiped a picture of him at homecoming that he had given to his teacher AND IT IS STILL HANGING ON MY MIRROR IN MY PARENTS' HOUSE. I also attended his graduation with my friend just to see him. Psycho much? I have heard that his looks have gone downhill but I refuse to believe it!

- I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. I was petrified of going there (kissing) when the time came. All of my friends had been smooching away and some even went so far as to [gasp] make out! Maybe even let a boy touch their boobie! My best friend was already sexually active. But it was like the longer it took for me to finally kiss someone, the more nervous I got. I found myself in several awkward situations of just turning my head and acting like a complete dork because I didn't know what to do.

It took drinking a fifth of some crappy licorice flavored alcohol for me to build up any sort of nerve and some coaxing from a friend. I smooched a Catholic private school boy at a New Year's Eve party. When I had realized that he was wearing a mock-neck turtleneck, I avoided him for the rest of the evening. The horror! A mock-neck!!

- I quickly went on to lose my virginity about 3 months later. Talk about playing catchup! And I skipped all of the "build up" steps between. I wish I could say it was a magical moment with a boy I cared about but truth be told, I hated this guy. He was such a TURD. I wanted to leave but my friend really liked his friend so I was stuck. What did I do? I drank myself into a stupor and the next thing I knew - well, you get the idea. And "Welcome to the Jungle" was playing on the radio. Talk about magic.

These aren't even that bad because really, who cares? All of these embarrassing and ridiculous things made me who I am today. I even have some scandal in my life that perhaps I'll share at a later time. But everyone in my life knows my dirt. And I don't give a crap.

The problem is that I don't know my boundaries with other people. If you share something with me I'll probably end up sharing it unless it's something horrific or just plain mean. Nothing angers me more than smack-talking when you're not willing to say that smack to the person's face.

Now there are limits. I won't tell you that you smell like poop, look like poop or anything that I think is just plain hurtful. But I will tell you that I think you're rude, you hurt my feelings, you're being completely ridiculous and you've done something to make me mad. Life is too short to harbor resentful feelings.

The problem with my directness is that I don't know how to handle a sensitive person. I've encountered this a few times and in fact, applauded Kristin when she finally grew a pair and told me that I was pissing her off (I'm still proud of you, schmoop). That's what I want! Why can't more people be this honest? Friends can make each other mad. And friends should be able to say, "hey - you're an ass" and get over it. Why does everything have to be so dramatic?

I'm not being cryptic here and it wasn't any one incident that is bringing about this post (so calm down if you're reading this and thinking, "Is she talking about me?"). It's a lot of little things that I've noticed over the last year and quite frankly, I'm getting too old for this. And to quote Geoff again, "Seriously, when did speaking your mind become such a faux pas?" Amen.

So because of this, Geoff and I decided to form the "Crotchety Bitches Foundation for Truth and Awareness" (of CBFTA!) because the 'Awareness' part makes it sound like a reputable organization (according to Geoff).

Wanna join? Let's speak our minds!