I'd like to poll all of my wonderful readers about a very serious issue. What do you call your in-laws? Do you call them Mom and Dad? Mom-in-law and Dad-in-law? By their first names? Mr and Mrs. Last name? What?
I don't know what to call my in-laws. I noticed that my brother-in-law has started calling them "mom" and "dad" since becoming an official part of their family. Prior to that, he referred to them by their first names. I thought maybe this had something to do with his relationship with his own parents (who are divorced and remarried) but my sister-in-law refers to them by their first names.
When I'm talking about my in-laws, I use their first names. But when I see them face-to-face, I'm at a loss. I don't want to seem disrespectful by using their first names but at the same time, I am an adult after all. I work with plenty of "older" folks whom I refer to by their first names.
Obviously Mr and Mrs last name is just way too formal. I don't even think I referred to them this way when the Mr and I were just dating (although I believe I caught him referring to my dad once as Mr. last name). For awhile, during our dating years, I referred to my in-laws as Mr. First Name and Ms. First Name. But aren't I a little too old for that? And now I'm their daughter-in-law. I think the formality isn't necessary anymore.
My MIL signs all of her cards and e-mails as either "Mom-in-law" or "Mom Last Name". Is that how I should refer to them?
I guess I could just call them Mom and Dad because it doesn't seem like something they'd object too but it just feels wrong to me. I already have my own Mom and Dad. I feel like this is cheating. I've had this conversation with The Mr and he feels equally uncomfortable with calling my parents Mom and Dad so I know I'm not crazy here.
Then there's a part of me that wonders, "Do people discuss how they wish to be referred after getting married?" Should we have had this conversation? Can I really skate by for the rest of their lives by never referring to them by their names? I think once you have kids it gets easier because they become Grandma and Grandpa but until that day… what do I do?
So how do you refer to your in-laws? And if you've changed what you call them since getting hitched, when did you make the transition and why?
And on a completely unrelated note, YOU!MUST!CHECK!OUT!THESE!PICTURES!
The fabulously talented Maria posted pics from our Trash the Dress session on her blog as well as a slideshow that showcases more awesomeness.
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16 comments:
You look absolutely gorgeous. And the pictures are fabulous. I love everything sepia toned!
I call my in laws by their first name. But when refering to them I call them, Brooks' mom or dad. I will never call them mom or dad. I don't like it. Could be that I sometimes don't like them?
SOO awesome! What amazing photos! I love the dress, the locations, the shots - and the song in the slideshow!
I call Sean's parents by their first names when I talk to them. But, this is easier for me because it's his dad and stepmom, and he even calls his dad by his first name. I agree though - calling them "mom" and "dad" is weird.
i usually call j's parents mr. or mrs. first name. but... that feels weird if i'm talking to one of them and refering to the other. "um, mrs. first name said she needs your help with something." i usually end up saying "your wife needs you for something." even more weird!
i could see myself calling the mr. - "dad b" but "mom b" sounds too close to mommy. we can discuss this dilemma. j calls my parents by their first names so maybe i should just do that. or i'll just ask them, do you think that would make them feel awkward?
GASP! Those photos are simply STUNNING! You two are HOT, HOT, HOT!
As for my in-laws, I call them by their first names. I probably would have called them "mom" and "dad" if my own father hadn't passed away. It would just be too strange for me to refer to anyone else as "dad" now.
Going to check out the pics after I post this...
I call my in-laws Mom and Dad, because they asked me to, and I don't have a problem with it (though I can see where people could). When I refer to them in the third person, though, I call then either "(the husband)'s parents" or "my in-laws" ... For whatever reason, I have problems with calling them by their first names, not Mom and Dad! But that's just my little quirk... ;)
My husband calls my parents by their first names, because that is what he and they are comfortable with. Again, that's just what seems to work best for us...
I am uncomfortable calling my in-laws mom and dad. It's always been by their first names and I see that continuing.
The pictures are absolutely amazing. Seriously.
Awesome pictures! I love your makeup! I call my mother-in-law by her first name.
Those pictures are so wonderful. I wish my mom hadn't made my dress and that if I did a Trash the Dress she wouldn't kill me b/c I love the idea :)
And I call my MIL by her first name to her face. If I talk to her at all. I don't like her much... :)
Amazing photos, you guys are beautiful.
I'm not married, but I avoid addressing my boyfriend's parents by name at all costs. I don't know what to call them, so I just steer clear of it altogether. It's kind of pain...
the pictures are stunning. you guys are models! makes me want to get married, but then i would have to deal with what to call my in-laws ;)
First names! I hate all that formal crap.
Oh the pictures are amazing! That slide show is so much fun and you look so beautiful!
I call my in-laws by their first names when I talk about them, but I tend to call them Mom & Dad to their face. It makes me feel a little weird for a lot of reasons, but when they call they say, "Hi, It's Mom! (or Dad)" And I know it makes them happy when I refer to them as such. But I've been married for over 4 years now and it feels no less weird. My SIL just calls them by first names. She says she already has a mom and dad.
I have the same dilemna! Before we got married, I called them their first names. Once we got married, they said to call them Mom and Dad D. I write that on cards and e-mails but have a hard time saying it to their faces! It just feels weird!
And wow, those pictures are beautiful! You are really starting to convince me to have my own trash the dress session! Especially since I wasn't happy with my wedding photos at all.
Hey you look gorgeous.....and he is equally handsome..God bless you both.....I call my mom in law...ma.....believe me once you start calling her mom..you will get the strength to forget and forgive lots of things and you will eventually get closer to her......all the best!
I call them by their first names. My husband calls my parents by their first names. We're all adults here, I think it's totally appropriate (and kinda weird to call 'em Mum and Dad when they're .. not?)
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