Mrs.The Mr? Mom? Mom-in-law?

I'd like to poll all of my wonderful readers about a very serious issue. What do you call your in-laws? Do you call them Mom and Dad? Mom-in-law and Dad-in-law? By their first names? Mr and Mrs. Last name? What?

I don't know what to call my in-laws. I noticed that my brother-in-law has started calling them "mom" and "dad" since becoming an official part of their family. Prior to that, he referred to them by their first names. I thought maybe this had something to do with his relationship with his own parents (who are divorced and remarried) but my sister-in-law refers to them by their first names.

When I'm talking about my in-laws, I use their first names. But when I see them face-to-face, I'm at a loss. I don't want to seem disrespectful by using their first names but at the same time, I am an adult after all. I work with plenty of "older" folks whom I refer to by their first names.

Obviously Mr and Mrs last name is just way too formal. I don't even think I referred to them this way when the Mr and I were just dating (although I believe I caught him referring to my dad once as Mr. last name). For awhile, during our dating years, I referred to my in-laws as Mr. First Name and Ms. First Name. But aren't I a little too old for that? And now I'm their daughter-in-law. I think the formality isn't necessary anymore.

My MIL signs all of her cards and e-mails as either "Mom-in-law" or "Mom Last Name". Is that how I should refer to them?

I guess I could just call them Mom and Dad because it doesn't seem like something they'd object too but it just feels wrong to me. I already have my own Mom and Dad. I feel like this is cheating. I've had this conversation with The Mr and he feels equally uncomfortable with calling my parents Mom and Dad so I know I'm not crazy here.

Then there's a part of me that wonders, "Do people discuss how they wish to be referred after getting married?" Should we have had this conversation? Can I really skate by for the rest of their lives by never referring to them by their names? I think once you have kids it gets easier because they become Grandma and Grandpa but until that day… what do I do?

So how do you refer to your in-laws? And if you've changed what you call them since getting hitched, when did you make the transition and why?

And on a completely unrelated note, YOU!MUST!CHECK!OUT!THESE!PICTURES!

The fabulously talented Maria posted pics from our Trash the Dress session on her blog as well as a slideshow that showcases more awesomeness.

Do Girls Marry INTO a Family?

I had lunch with Angie over the weekend and of course the topic of mother-in-laws came up. I think most people are aware that I've had my fair share of MIL issues in the past. I'm happy to report that we've gotten past it and are now a-okay. I think I have the birth of a baby (not mine) to thank for that.

Aaanywho - I've also heard and even witnessed my fair share of MIL drama. While I think Carrie had the worst experience BY FAR, I think Angie's comes pretty close. But honestly - I don't know many women who have incredible relationships with their MILs.

Here's my theory - mothers of boys are a little bit crazy. There, I said it. I've noticed a shared belief amongst many people that a woman marries INTO a family. Why is it never really seen that a man marries into a family? I'm sure this is tied back to some ancient thing or whatever, but come on. It's 2008. Men take women's last names! Couples even combine last names to create whacky new ones!

I think it's time for the belief that a woman solely marries into a man's family needs to go away. I think when a man and woman marry, they become a new family. In-laws are "extended" family. But that's just me and is a constant battle I'm sure I will fight until I pop out a baby or two.

To get back to my "mothers of boys are a little bit crazy" theory, I've noticed that there seems to be tension whenever the wife of the son wants to spend time with her parents. I'm not talking about my experience here, I'm talking about almost every single one of my married girlfriends' experiences. It's so strange. It seems that there is this expectation that a wife should abandon her "old" family to enter into this new family (especially since she married INTO it).

I don't even know if this post makes any sense. I just think the whole thing is absurd.

On top of that - have you noticed that boys of these crazy mothers can't seem to "stand up" to them? I don't ever see this with girls. I'm completely honest with my mother. That's how I was raised. I don't have a problem telling her that The Mr. cannot climb up a tree to trim the branches that are wrapped around the electrical wires because it would kill him. But good luck getting him to tell his mom that she's out of line for making a bad racial comment! But I see this with a lot of couples. What is it about the mother/son relationship that makes it so tough to break through?

And that's it. I'm sure there are plenty of people who have lovely MILs and I'm not even insulting mine. It's just an interesting dynamic to see or even experience. I'm sure this all relates to Sigmund Freud somehow.

Aunt? Auntie? Aunt-in-Law?

The Mr's sister had her baby on Wednesday. Strangely, everyone thought I'd hate the kid but I don't. I just don't want a baby right now. I think babies are cute, albeit a little weird, and I don't possess that gene that makes me want to hold everyone's baby. I think THAT'S weird. If its a baby I'm connected to (a close friend's baby, family, etc), I'm all for it though. Just don't ask me to babysit.

Anywho - we went to visit SIL on Friday. We also saw this as an opportunity to get a few practice shots of a baby in before our big debut the next day. Plus - we wanted to take pictures for SIL and BIL. So check him out:


How cute is he? Seriously - so cute. And taking pictures of a newborn is pretty easy considering they don't move much. The only issue we discovered was that its difficult to balance their skin tone. I guess that's why so many baby pictures are in black & white?

Little Nathan was very cooperative although he hated the flash. Everytime it went off, he's slowly shut his eyes for a few seconds (like he was hungover). So cute. And watching BIL interact with Nathan was super cute too. I've always viewed BIL to be a big kid so to watch him coo over his baby was seriously precious.

Have you thrown up yet? Seriously - who am I?! I even told The Mr that I wanted a baby when we left... and I'm pretty sure his testicles ascended up into his body.

Now - my only issue is that I don't necessarily feel like an Aunt. I'm not trying to sound like a jerk but I'm not a blood relation to the kid. Using the term nephew-in-law seems more appropriate to me. Even so, SIL and BIL kept calling me Aunt Twink or Auntie Twink and it just felt unnatural. Maybe because Aunt sound so old and Auntie sounds like an old chinese woman (think The Joy Luck Club).

I thought it would be cool to have Nathan refer to me in the Korean translation for Aunt: Emo (or Imo... I don't actually know how to spell it). But even that sounds old! And they were butchering it by calling me Emu. I don't think I want to be considered an ostrich-like bird.

However, according to Yahoo Answers - the proper phrase given my relation is:
If she married your Uncle on your Mom's side (older or younger) she is your Way-Seung-Mo.

Now, if they had trouble with Emo, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't make it.

So there's another Korean term used when referring to an older but young woman. I don't know how to spell it (Angie, help me!) but its pronounced: Uhn-ni. Again - if the whities can't say "Emo", this won't make it either.

So what do you think? Just stick with Aunt? Ryan pointed out that it might be strange to make a total white kid call me something Korean.

Also - for those of you married ladies, when your in-laws have kids... do you feel slightly disconnected? My thought is that I'd cease to be the kid's Aunt if we got divorced, right? I know not everyone agreed with me and Gerard pointed out that I was jerk for thinking this way. Maybe it would be different if The Mr was closer to his sister.

Regardless, I'm going to try to be the "fun Aunt" by buying the kid lots of candy and loud toys.