A Circle is a Desirable Shape, Right?

The gym I belong to (conveniently located in one of the buildings of my employer) does incentive programs from time to time to motivate gym members to actually work out more. Being the competitive nerd that I am, I generally enroll in these programs. I don't really need the motivation because it has just become a part of my morning routine.

The program they had over the holiday season was called, "Maintain - Don't Gain" where they took your measurements/weight before Thanksgiving and then again this week (after New Year's). The idea is that if you lose or maintain your original measurements/weight then you win. If you gain, you lose and owe them fitness points (points are redeemed for merchandise).

I usually sign up for this particular program and always choose measurements because my weight can fluctuate anywhere between 0-5 lbs depending on if I've pooped, drank too much water or my period is just around the corner. Yeah yeah, tmi. At least I don’t cheat! One woman I know had her weight taken right after lunch the first week and then re-weighed herself first thing in the morning without having eaten anything. You're only cheating yourself! I heard of another woman cheating at Weight Watchers. She actually suggested to another WW pal that they "wear heavy clothing" for their first weigh-in. What's the point? It's not like you're gearing up to wrestle a specific weight class in the big state finals. You're only cheating yourself when you play those games. But I digress…

This holiday season was kind of out of control for me. I think I'm a stress eater - and when you combine the whole crashing of the economy, fear of losing my job, being in grad school, having a husband in law school, dealing with turds and a whole smorgesbord of other things… you've got an out of control snacker. Also factor in the holidays which means that everyone and their mothers is throwing desserts at you.

It ended up with my pants fitting much too tight and me feeling icky and lethargic.

So - on Sunday, I decided I would partake in a detox diet. It's a 7-day plan that was sent to me via a GOOP newsletter. And yes, I realize that it's ridiculous that Gwyneth Paltrow would even claim to need to shed a few pounds but the reason I was drawn to this plan was that perhaps it would help me kick my sugar addiction.

I'm in day 5 of this plan. I can't believe I've made it this long. I didn't realize how much I grazed at work until I couldn't do it anymore. The first day was killer but now I'm used to it. And just know that I AM eating. Aaanywho… maybe I'll save the whole detox thing for another post.

I got remeasured today. I weighed myself and saw that I had lost a pound from the initial weigh-in (score!) so I figured the measurements wouldn't be much different.

Arms - ½ inch BIGGER. I wish I could say I had some Madonna-esque guns but sadly, I do not.
Chest - ¼ inch SMALLER. Seriously? God - why do you hate me?
Waist (Belly Button) - ½ inch BIGGER. YARG!
Hips - ¼ inch SMALLER.
Thighs - the same.
Calves - ¼ inch SMALLER.

Yes - because every woman strives for smaller boobs, hips and calves while increasing their arms and waistline.

And then it struck me. If I keep this up, I'll begin to take the shape of a circle.

I think 2009 should become the year of the circle. Fuck an hourglass figure. Give me a circle, dammit!

First Post of the New Year

Wow - my first post in 2009. What should I discuss?
Should I write about what I did for New Year's? Well - I went to a pal's place for a nice, low-key evening. We normally host a party but this year, we just weren't in the mood. So we hung with friends, played games, drank a couple of bottles of champagne and called it a night.

Should I write a "Year in Review" for 2008? Honestly - I can't seem to remember that far back. I couldn't really list out what I did each month. For a funny recap, check out Eludius's write-up. Seriously - I can't remember what I did in January. That is really really sad.

Should I write about my resolutions? Sure! I'll try to keep it brief. I generally come up with a list of somewhat ridiculous resolutions every year. I even go so far as to type them up into a document and save them. Some past highlights include:
- Do a split (think cheerleaders or super cool dancers). I still can't and I still haven't even really tried to "train" for this.

- Find a hobby. I still struggle with this one. I love lots of things but lack the dedication to any of it. Aren't hobbies supposed to sort of consume my free time? I generally too wiped to do anything outside of watching TV.

- Learn more Korean. I even got Rosetta Stone… LAST CHRISTMAS. I haven't even put the headphones on yet. Yikes.

Some of my successful past resolutions have included:
- Run a 5k. Now I've done more than I can even remember.

- Pay off credit card. At the time I wrote that, my debt was kind of crazy and I did manage to pay it off.

- Do a date night. So I don't really classify cooking dinner once a week as date night anymore but it did spark my interest in cooking. I've managed to keep it up somewhat regularly and continue to get better (at least I think I am.)

So what have I resolved to do this year? It's tough to decide especially now that I have that 101 in 1001 list. That is sort of a long list of resolutions but what I really want to focus on are the following:

- Learn more Korean. I feel like such a fraud not being in touch with half of my family's language. Plus - what a waste! The Rosetta Stone was a gift and I was totally called out last month for not even having used it yet.

- Run a 5k or 10k every month this year. This wasn't MY resolution. It was the resolution The Mr created for US. Nice, huh? The only race we could find in Maryland in January was on NEW YEAR'S DAY. Ugh! But we did it.

- Stop being so angry at everyone. I have such a short temper and can hold some really long grudges. After reading Willikat's post regarding hating anyone new in 2008, I was really struck by how she doesn't hate anyone. I'm so quick to hate people or write them off. I think I end up feeling completely stressed about my relationships with people and I just need to let go of all of it.

- Launch the new blog. I created it and even starting adding content to it a few months ago but have yet to fully switch over to the Charm City Kim blog. I need to get off of my lazy ass and just do it! I also need to accept the fact that I am not graphically design saavy therefore the blog will not be some sort of masterpiece. I'm just tired of being MrsTwink.

- Finally finish posting all of Juli's wedding pictures and frickin' send her a copy. I've only been back from Scotland for 3 months. Geez - what is my problem.

- Speaking of Scotland, I will finally post pictures on my Flickr page from Scotland.

- And speaking of unfinished things, I will finish my stupid wedding scrapbook! I hate having all of this loose paper around. I don’t know why I'm getting so caught up in making the pages look scrap-tacular. I just need to glue stuff to pages.

- Push myself harder to run further. I've conquered the 5k. I even ran 5 miles in December (my longest run EVER). Now I need to finish a 10k. Ideally, I'd even like to try the half-marathon. No more wimping out or taking a defeatist attitude.

- Okay - my list is starting to get too long so I'll stop here.

Any fun resolutions this year?

Relationship Resolution Revisited

The Mr isn't fully aware of this, but my long-term plan for our relationship is to have him become a vegetarian. Stop rolling your eyes and let me explain.

I've never been one to force my beliefs on anyone and I still don't. If you eat meat, that's great. More power to you. I'm not going to hover over you and recite horrific facts just like I don't expect you to ridicule my belief in not wanting to eat animals. One of my co-workers tried to belittle my principles by comparing the notion of it being wrong to eat meat to slaying all tigers and bears because they eat meat. Are you scratching your head? Let me break it down.

I think it's wrong to eat meat, therefore…
I should also think it's wrong for tigers and bears to prey on other animals, therefore…
I should want all tigers and bears put down.

Yeah, makes a lot of sense. This is why I don't argue with people about their diets. To each his own. Don't even get me started on religious! Ha!

But back to the point, the longer I've been immersed in this whole vegetarianism - the crazier I've gotten. I cry about all things animal-related. When Flower, the mom Meerkat on Meerkat Manor died protecting her clan? Oh yeah - sobfest. I don't even really watch the feckin' show. And that's not even animal cruelty! That was Mother Nature at work.

I recently DVR'ed Oprah's show on puppy mills but haven't been able to force myself to watch it yet. I know it will wreck me. I need to set aside an entire evening and a box of tissues for that.

And before you get all, "But twink, you have a leather handbag! I saw you wear leather shoes!" - I get it. I get the hypocrisy. But I'm taking a page out of a classmate's book that also became a vegetarian in that I'm not buying any new leather goods. Yeah that might seem like a cop-out but what's the point in throwing my stuff away? I already own it. That's just being wasteful (another thing I'm nutty about).

So blah blah blah animals yay! Blah blah blah, right?

I DVR'ed Morgan Spurlock's show "30 Days" recently that featured an avid hunter from NC who spent 30 days in L.A.with a vegan family, protesting with PETA and working at an animal sanctuary. They warned viewers of graphic images but holy hell - I wasn't anticipating some of the images they showed and I ended up sobbing through half of the show.

After one particularly heartbreaking scene featuring a baby cow, I looked over at the Mr who [gasp] was teary-eyed. Looks like my secret relationship resolution might eventually come to fruition and I didn't even need to force it on him!

I looked at him and declared, "You're going to be a vegetarian!" to which he replied, "Well maybe if you cooked some vegetarian dinners… I'm getting tired of cereal!" Touche. I guess if I want him to get on board with my belief system, I should at least try to make it easy on him by making some good eats.

I've gotten pretty lazy this past year with cooking but I am reaching a point where eating cereal 5 nights a week for dinner is killing me. So - this is my pledge to my husband and to the blogosphere: I will cook more dinner.

Relationship resolution for me: cook more delicious vegetarian dinners
Relationship resolution for The Mr: stop eating meat (this one will probably take awhile if not forever)

Do you and your significant other have similar diets? If not - how do you manage?

And to my vegetarian bloggers - any great recipes you want to share? I'm not a master chef so they need to be easy peasy.

The Workout Resolution

You know... I'm all for people wanting to be healthier. I really am and I even encourage it (especially with my parents).

As a regular member of a gym, however, I loathe the month of January. The gym is crowded and people are f'ing up my routine! Get off of my machine, a-holes. I've been a regular member for YEARS. Where has your ass been?

Anywho - lucky for me... February generally clears out the non-serious folks and I can get back to my normal routine.

My gym sends out a monthly newsletter and there was a particular blurb that I found to be so true and I thought I'd share (with some of my own commentary sprinkled in):

How to NOT Make the Most of Your Gym Time

We all have experimented with various techniques to make going to the gym more pleasing. But are our tricks actually helping us or hindering us? Here are some common mistakes people make by trying to trick themselves into passing time at the gym.

- Do more talking than exercising. Being friendly and personal is great, but striking up conversations with co-workers or the staff is a wonderful way to take away from time that could be spent burning calories and exercising muscles other than the ones that move your jaw.
This one drives me CRAZY. Now, I understand that people feel that having a friend to workout with is a great motivator. There is something horribly annoying, however, about the people who aren't even breaking a sweat because they're running their yappers. They should have just taken a stroll outside and gotten off the f'n machine that I wanted to use! Even so - I hate when people try to chat me up while I'm working out... especially when I'm dripping with sweat, red-faced and huffing to catch my breath. Hello? I can barely breathe let alone chat with you.

- Get engrossed in the TV. Many look at the televisions as the sugar that helps the exercise go down. But chances are you slow down during exciting parts, and end up concentrating on the show more than on your workout. Who cares if you’re burning only half the calories you should be? At least you know the latest goings on in Britney’s life!
A couple of weeks ago at the gym, a woman asked if she could switch the channel on the TV that I was obviously watching. Because I only had a few minutes left on the treadmill, I said I didn't mind and then she promptly switched it to... JUDGE JOE BROWN. For the next half hour, I watched her slowly peddle on the bike (not breaking a sweat) chatting with her girlfriend about the nonsense on JUDGE JOE BROWN. Last week, I saw a guy completely engrossed in his PSP while on the bike. He must have been peddling about 1 mph because he was too busy trying to score in his video basketball game. He would have been better off playing ACTUAL basketball.

- Work out half-heartedly. It’s enough that you found time in your super-packed schedule to get down to the gym, why add to the work you put in behind the desk by working hard there too? Heaven forbid you actually break a sweat during your lunch hour!
Okay - this one annoys me too. I see plenty of women (I hate to call out my gender here) that are too worried about getting sweaty to actual do anything of substance. Stay home. Go out to lunch. Don't waste your time at the gym. If you're not breaking a sweat, get out of my way.

- Substitute quantity for quality. One hour of strolling on the treadmill while watching tv or chatting with your neighbor is not the same as one hour of walking as if you were late for a hot date or an important interview.

Look - I know its tough to go from not working out to working out. I've been there. But what is the point if you're not even really trying? Its annoying to the rest of us! And its generally the half-hearted people who quit in February. Gee - could it be because you're not taking this new lifestyle change seriously? Or is it because you're not seeing any results?

UGH! Oh - and if you're wondering where my workout rant is coming from... I've always kind of been a nut about working out. Its just a part of my daily routine and I'm lucky enough to have a gym at my office. However, its reached a critical level because The Mr. has been getting into super serious shape and is getting all beefcake on me. I don't like that we're within 10 lbs of each other. Granted - I could NEVER give up carbs but still. Its made me step up my game.

Look in the Fridge...

I forgot to mention that The Mr. totally pulled another romance resolution last night! After having an overall crappy feeling day and then having to go to my first class of the Spring semester...

He surprised me by picking up my all-time favorite sub from my favorite Italian deli last night.
THE CALABRESE - Sharp provolone, artichoke hearts, sweet peppers, olives, tomato, cucumber & onions.

Its made with love and magic.

The Mr. is on some crazy diet/workout regimen and its put a damper on our Saturday afternoon outings to this deli so that I can smother myself in that magical sub. Oh - how I missed it so.

Being the good wife that I am, I try to keep crappy food out of the house since I know he's dying for some subs, pizza, magically delicious food, candy... etc. But I'm slowly dying inside.

Although - its forced me to eat a little better. I don't eat cereal for dinner as much as I used to and that's a good thing, I guess.

Relationship Resolutions

Along with my resolutions (or "goals") for 2008, I told The Mr that I've assigned him some Relationship objectives for the new year. Actually - there's only 1:

Be more romantic.

I never thought I'd ever say that but I'm finding myself craving romance. Before you all gag and choke on your vomit, I think my definition of romance is a little different than everyone elses. I don't want poems, hand-holding or any other snuggle-bunny type of affection... I guess I just want him to be more thoughtful.

For the last few months (after our home renovations), I've seen a pattern with us. We sit on the couch and watch TV. Whoo! Actually, now that we have the Wii... perhaps there are some nights of playing Guitar Hero sprinkled in there.



I'm just looking to break this pattern (well... at least until I've mastered Guitar Hero).

So, The Mr took me seriously! Be brought home flower yesterday (my favorite!) for no reason. And the "no reason" reason is the best reason of all. Aww... although that didn't stop us from spending the evening sitting on the couch. Actually - I was uploading more music to my iPod but still. We're working on it.

2008 Resolutions

Yeah yeah yeah - everybody in the blogosphere has been talking about their resolutions, goals, anti-resolutions... blah blah blah. Right?

Well, I'm a huge nerd and write out resolutions every frickin' year. They're never actually about weight loss or changing myself completely. They're generally about learning new stuff. In the past I have resolved to (and yes, I keep WORD DOCUMENTS saved on my computer so that I can look back on my resolutions... don't judge me):

2005:
- Pay off credit card
- Run a 5k
- Find a hobby
- Do a split
- Learn more Korean
- When you're upset with someone, tell them ASAP

Yeah, super lame. I think it may have taken me several years to find a hobby (photography!). I still can't do a split. I don't even know how to go about "training" for it. Its still on the back burner for me. As for telling someone ASAP when I'm upset with them? Somehow it just doesn't work for me. I'm known to have a "hostile" tone and it just turns into a big blowout. I have a short temper so its better for me to just wait it out and then I get over it. The Korean thing is on this year's list.

2006
- Pay off credit card. Strange... this made it on my lists 2 years in a row.
- Run a 5k I dropped the ball on this one in 2005.
- Have 1 home-cooked sit-down meal a week together
- Find a hobby/interest
- Go to Hot Yoga

Okay, so there were some repeats. I know. The home-cooked meal thing worked out great though. I forced me to cook. We were very successful with this. And I DID religiously go to Hot Yoga but the overcrowding has turned me off.

2007
- Continue dinner nights
- Host dinner once a month for another couple

Well... we weren't so successful in 2007 but that was mostly due to the wedding and home renovations. We're picking it back up!

My lists are lame, I know. But at least my goals seem attainable. I haven't completely figured out what I want to accomplish for 2008 but here's the preliminary list:

- Learn Korean! I know have Rosetta Stone. No excuses!
- Continue dinner night... maybe even cook dinner at least twice a week
- Host dinner once a month for another couple
- Do a split. I'm bringing this back!
- Spruce up this blog!

Any other suggestions? Have you come up with goals yet that are as awesome as my past ones? Can you do a split?