So I realized that weddings are still in full swing. I mean, I guess they'll always be around but I'm at the age where I can easily name 5 people who are engaged at any point right now. Maria is getting hitched tomorrow. She is ridiculously gorgeous and I absolutely cannot wait until she posts her pics!
Then there is Rob and Jenny who are getting hitched in Puerto Rico next month (whoo hoo! Destination wedding!). Then there is Kristin who is getting hitched next year as well as Katie and if I keep laying down the pressure on my friend, perhaps he'll be getting hitched as well. Wow - that's a lot of people. Maybe not to you but considering the number of people that I know that have gotten hitched within the last 2 years, it feels like a lot.
I open this post up to the ladies either in the planning stages or who have already gotten hitched that want to offer any advice to those getting married. I remember during the planning stages how often I read through pages and pages of Knot bios (that's how I found Nanette's blog!) and LOVED reading their words of wisdom or even just getting inspiration from their weddings.
I really thought that I'd be a bridezilla. I'm kind of crazy when it comes to organization or having things be a certain way so I really thought I'd lose it during the planning process. While some of it was stressful, overall I found myself to be very laid back. Shocking, right? The Mr. and I picked a color scheme (brown and blue) and just said whatever to the rest. I was very non-chalant about the bridesmaid dresses and told the girls that I just wanted them to be brown and that they didn't even have to coordinate. They didn't believe me (because of my normal craziness) but I really meant it! It was more important to me that everyone was happy and comfortable.
When the wedding day actually rolled around, all mishaps kind of were forgotten. It was gorgeous all day but about an hour before the wedding, it started to rain lightly. Our ceremony was supposed to be outside and it was one of the reasons we chose the ceremony site (we liked the gazebo!). I held on to a little hope that the rain would clear but it didn't. So about 30 minutes before the ceremony, I had to make the call to bring the chairs inside and do the ceremony indoors. It was such a strange setup too. Everyone sat at the dinner tables (that were already set with dishes and water!) but when the moment came, I didn't even notice. Am I a little bummed that we didn't have our gazebo wedding? Sure, but what was the point of throwing a tantrum? I even received an e-mail from the venue coordinator thanking me for my wonderful attitude and laid back nature. She said a lot of brides probably would have had a meltdown over the last minute change but my flexibility made the transition smooth for everyone. [patting myself on the back]
I think that while weddings are about the couple, they're also about everyone else in your life that you're including. Watching shows like Bridezillas are entertaining but quite horrifying to see how women are treating their friends just because they're getting married! Cah-razy! But seriously - its always great to see a thankful, happy bride... not an uptight and angry bride.
What advice would you offer to brides-to-be?
And for those brides-to-be, if you're looking for inspiration you should check out some Knot Bios. Some of these women are frickin' amazing! I found some great ones on The Knot Bio List.
**Update** Reading Nanette's comment made me realize that I didn't actually offer any advice myself! Ha! So here goes:
- I agree with her in that you should determine what is most important to you because that will help you immensely in figuring out where to allocate your budget.
- Set aside goals each month for what you want to accomplish in terms of planning. It makes the whole thing a little less overwhelming (it did for me, at least). You can focus on one or two things each month.
- Practice your first dance! I don't even mean take lessons. Just practice once. While everyone says our first dance was "cute", we felt like huge jackasses but it was the first time we had (1) danced in our fancy clothes and (2) danced to that song together.
- Since Traci asked me this earlier today, here's a great trick in keeping tabs on your RSVP cards. To ensure that (1) you can READ the handwriting of the response card and (2) that in cases you receive a blank card (and we did) and you want to know who sent it, you should number each card. That number should correspond with a guest (that you have in a spreadsheet or something). That way, when you get the illegible card - you'll know who its from. It makes life easier.
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5 comments:
Woo hoo! I got some more linky love from Mrs. Twink! :) And I'm so happy you discovered my blog because I, in turn, discovered yours!
I'm pretty laid back in general and was also surprised to find that that carried over into my wedding planning and on the actual day-of. The only time I started to stress was when the weather looked like it might derail our outdoor wedding plans, but I was immediately calmed when I found out that my hubby had done a ton of research on renting tents, etc., without telling me. I was too touched by his proactiveness to really care about the weather. ;)
My general advice is:
- determine what's most important to you (photography, food, etc.) and prioritize your budget that way. In our case, photography was the most important to use because after the cake has been eaten and the dress has been worn, it's the photos that you have forever.
- practice walking in your dress with whomever is walking you down the aisle before the ceremony. I didn't, and I kept whispering to my mom, through my smile, "You're stepping on my dress..."
- have your DJ/band remind your guests during the reception about signing the guestbook. We did a Polaroid guestbook, but some folks who arrived late to the ceremony forgot to sign it.
Phew. That's a lot, huh?
I need the advice!! Nanette - I am going to check out all of your wedding info as well! I'm taking notes:)
Girl - you obviously don't remember anything about your wedding planning. You think you were calm? You were freakish and obsessed. Your eyes glowed red and steam burst through your nostrils whenever something wasn't going right. Fortunately, the yelling and shaking have subsided.
So, trust me, I have worked close to 800 weddings. Plan like crazy, go insane on the The Knot, make plans and schedules, but then do 2 things:
1. Stop planning and worrying about your wedding day at least 2 weeks before the big day. You cannot control the rain, who will forget what...etc., etc. things will go wrong- but it just doesn't matter. It really makes me sad when I see a bride that spends her wedding day worrying about all the details and then misses some of the most important potential memories of the day, and has a frown on her face all day long. It shows in the photographs, trust me. Just let it go, have a good time, feel the real emotions- and focus on what is most important. You are marrying someone that you love and feel so deeply about...and all of your friends and family are there to celebrate that- what could REALLY be "wrong".
2. And this is my bias, please pick the right photographer. Nanette nailed this one...your images and your memories will be what you have in 5, 10, 15, ... years. Watch out for labels like "Photojournalistic" and just because you see a photographer is doing a "Trash your dress" session doesn't make them cool or good. Get recommendations from your friends, review www.wpja.com (if you want photojournalistic), and ask to see COMPLETE weddings (you want to see the untouched proofs). Make sure you see what you really want. Everyone says "I want PJ". Don't ask for that, demand more..."I want PJ, and posed images, I want a lot of natural family photographs, I want you to knock my socks off". If they say something stupid like, “I don’t do table shots”…run away! You may not think this now, but some of those images become very powerful and meaningful.
Your wedding day flies by so fast- slow it down, have fun, and don't get caught up in all the hype (which is driven a lot by marketing by businesses that want to sell you things). One last thing, the day is mostly about you- but not all about you. Love your family and your friends (because otherwise, why did you invite them)...a wedding day is about all of you.
1) don't forget about the man you're marrying and why. Make sure to give him attention WITHOUT constantly babbling about the wedding.
2) Plan events for AFTER the wedding. The post-wedding blues can be brutual. Make sure you've got some stuff to look forward to once your big day is over.
3) Don't plan an outdoor wedding if you would be devestated by a little bit of rain. Mother nature is not always kind. If rain would ruin your day and send you into a sobbing mess, opt for a place with big windows instead, or if you can afford it, plan it for outside but have a backup location in place.
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