Some Reasons Why You Should Hire Maria

I don't think I can gush enough about Maria. She is one of the most talented people I have ever met and it's been great watching her photography and business grow over the last year. She's married to an equally talented husband who not only shoots pictures with her, but seems to fully support her in this business venture.

I mentioned previously that I did a trash the dress session with them and while I haven't seen all of the pictures (seriously, no rush Maria) - she did post a sneak peak on her blog. Check it out here.

I am obsessed with these pictures. I'm not smiling AND I don't look like I crapped myself! I just love her style. She has far surpassed my love of many of the photographers I have linked on this blog as "photography inspiration".

Anywho - reasons why you should hire Maria:
1) She is probably the sweetest person you will ever meet. If she isn't, I need to meet the person you think is sweeter because that just can't possibly be true. I've never known this girl to say a bad thing about anybody. And when she's shooting your picture, she compliments you left and right. I felt like an f'n supermodel after our shoot was done. She complimented the fact that we lasted 4+ hours but honestly - it's because she pumped me up so much. Flattery gets you everywhere, people. And swedish fish don't hurt either.

2) With her you get her husband, Drew! It's a package deal. And to watch them work together is frickin' adorable. He'll be standing taking the picture, and she'll be on her knees shooting by his feet. They fit together like a puzzle. That alone is worth it.

3) She's amazingly talented. I mean, how many times do I have to say it? Just go look at her site now or even her blog. While I'm at it, just go to her frickin' Flickr pics. Do I need to say more?

4) She will spend hours upon hours ensuring that the pictures she gives you are fabulous. She just told me that she edited 750 f'n wedding pictures for the last wedding she shot. 750! Show me another photographer as dedicated as she is? I can tell you right now that my own photographer didn't edit HALF that amount. Come to think of it, he probably didn't really edit anything unless it went into the album.

5) She gives great customer service! Upon referring Justin and Abbey, she sent me and The Mr a sweet thank you card and a little gift certificate to Starbucks. And no - that's not why I keep referring her to people (although I do love Starbucks). It's just a nice touch. And without ruining the nice touches she does for her clients, Justin told me they received a package from her and LOVED it. It's the little things that matter, people.

6) While shooting our pics during Honfest, we met a group of lovely Hons that we posed for pictures with. She gave one of the Hons her business card and the woman contacted her to see the pictures. Despite being incredibly bogged down with editing the 750 wedding photos, Maria busted her butt to get some pictures ready for this nice Hon. Here are just a few (and Maria dubbed these "fun outtakes". OUTTAKES. These aren't even her best work!):




These "outtakes" are a million times better than anything I can do. I'm weeding through the 350 pictures I took at Ian and Katie's wedding and am finding that I apparently can't hold a camera still! My pictures suck balls compared to these.

7)She's always willing to help out a budding photographer. The Mr and I aren't even looking to do this as a business (although it would be a cool profession) but we do enjoy taking pictures and are still learning a lot. She has kindly offered to let us "second shoot" a family portrait session with her and Drew this weekend and even offered to let us tag along for a wedding just to experience it!

Okay - that's it for now. I don't want to freak Maria out with all of my blog love for her but seriously - hire her. I know some of you are getting married out there and if you live in the Baltimore/DC area, HIRE MARIA. Her prices are fabulous considering what you are getting with that deal. Actually - you don't even need to be getting married. Just hire her.

HIRE MARIA!

Where Do You Keep Your Butt Pads?

I think I forgot to mention that I had my first row team practice last week. They've gotten a jump start on practices because they are competing in a non-company sponsored race in DC (DC Dragon Boat Festival) next weekend. They opened it up to the newbies but without guarantee of being accepted onto the team.

Well now it seems like they had a change of heart because I think I may have committed to racing. It was brought up at Sunday's practice and I felt put on the spot. And it was after my verbal commitment that they divulged that there are actually 2 races that weekend and that we'd have to be in DC by 8am both days. Shoot me now.

So my first practice went well, I think. Nobody was yelling at me to stay in form (like some others... haha!) and I picked up the technique quickly. I wasn't terribly sore in my back or arms like I thought I'd be but good lord, I felt like I'd been punched in the ass for a good hour. I know some women complain about having some junk in the trunk, but it comes in handy when you're sitting on a wooden slat for an hour... trust me. Boney butts don't have the necessary cushion. I couldn't sit right for a few days leading some to think that I had quite the anniversary celebration.

I noticed that some women on the team had these little pads (pictured) that they were sitting on and I finally had to ask what they were. I mean, can you really buy a butt pad for rowing? Apparently they were using gardening kneeling pads as a cushion. They're foamy and rubbery making them soft and waterproof. Genius. I realized that I desperately needed a butt pad if I was going to survive.

The next practice wasn't until Sunday so I planned to pick up the butt pad on Saturday. On Saturday, The Mr and I went over to Tom's place for a Derby party where I was reunited with Jamie, Terri and my love, Geoff. I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time (seriously Terri... I'm still laughing about the emperor and his dishwasher safe friend!).

I had completely forgotten all about my sore cheeks until I heard Jamie and Tom leaving for an emergency trip to Target. In my haze of vodka tonics and a banana cream dessert, I remembered that I needed a butt pad so I screamed that I HAD to come with them. Thankfully, they let me tag along.

After getting derailed in the bargain bin section of Target (seriously - this is like crack cocaine), I declared that I had to have a giraffe doormat because it was only $2! And I also needed a bunch of picture frames because hello? $5 each?! Jamie quickly assessed that I was an impulse shopper and put a stop to my crazy.

The best part of the trip was that I had no clue where to find the gardening knee pads (yeah yeah - I could have looked in gardening, I get it... but where the hell was it?) so Tom approached a Target associate and yelled, "Where do you keep your butt pads?" I almost peed my pants. Jamie corrected him and another associate led us to the gardening section but I'm pretty sure the associate Tom spoke to is still standing there, red-faced and with his mouth agape.

But I got my butt pad and it is magic! My ass feels fabulous today but I can't speak for the rest of my body. Oy... the pain. I also think I might have caught the plague from the Baltimore harbor water as it was being splashed directly onto me by the paddler in front of me. Good times.

More Fun Facts?

The lovely Smack tagged me for a meme. And while some people might grumble about doing them, I love it! I don't have to think up a blog post topic... its fantastic.

I've actually done this particular meme before but I can always come up with 7 random facts about myself.

1. I didn't learn to do laundry until I was 23 years old. I went to a college that was within driving distance to my parents' house and would drive home every Sunday to drop off my laundry. I would then run some errands and by the time I came to pick it up - everything was washed, dried, folded and ironed (if it needed it). I sometimes miss that fabulous mom service and she still offers to do it. It was a win-win situation for both of us. She got to see me once a week and I was getting my laundry done for free.

2. I've never changed a baby diaper. Although my womb is starting to sigh a little whenever I think about my dad's declining health and how he may never get to be a grandad.

3. I hoard shopping bags. You will most likely find tons and tons of shopping bags hiding in closets, stuff in other bags (purses), basically anywhere in my house. I am convinced that I will one day reuse the bags in some fashion.

4. I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 24 despite being sexually active for 8 years. I didn't realize what I was missing out on. I was one of those, "I don't know if I've had one" people until it actually happened to me. So if you are unsure about having had one - then you haven't had one.

5. I won't touch an amphibian. Their weird slimy exterior just grosses me out beyond belief. The idea of holding a frog actually makes me ill.

eeew!

6. My favorite scene in Pretty in Pink is where Blaine tells Andy that he loves her at the prom:
You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in myself. [pause] I love you. [whisper] Always.

I kid you not, this scene STILL gives me goosebumps everytime I watch it.

7. Carrie just called me to tell me that she had dug out her old karaoke machine (from like 7-9 years ago) and discovered a tape that was still inside. The tape contained lots of stupid recordings of us plus one solo recording of me imitating Cher singing "If I Could Turn Back Time". If I can figure out how to make it digital, I will share it with everyone.

The Rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So now I tag Ben, Non Mommy, Justine, Little Spoon, Autobiography of My Feet, Kt and Michelle and the City.

Where Are My Pine Nuts?!

So Friday, I met up with my fabulous Baltimore blogging pals Geoff, Jamie, Ryan, and the fabulous CAG for dinner at Lebanese Taverna.

The Lebanese Taverna was one of the few restaurants offering a vegetarian cuisine in their limited menu for Baltimore Restaurant Week. And it was hip, new and in the ever-growing Harbor East area on B-more.

I'm not sure what else to say about dinner. I felt bad for The Mr. because he couldn't really eat much due to his crazy diet/workout thing that he's doing but he was a sport to still hang out. My meal was okay. It wasn't anything to die for but I am still going to give this place another shot at knocking my socks off.

I had an appetizer of hommus that was delicious but not amazing and then had the Mehshi Bel Zeit (vegetables of the day stuffed with rice, tomato and pine nuts, served over a tomato sauce). It kind of looked like a big turd.


It was a delicious big turd. Ryan was complaining that there were no pine nuts. I didn't notice but he was STILL talking about his missing pine nuts this morning.

I then had their ice cream sampler for dessert (it consisted of amazing pistachio, raspberry-pomegranite and vanilla-cardamom flavors):


Geoff had some weird cheese thing drizzled in ORANGE BLOSSOM SYRUP (it was strangely bolded on the menu like that).

Anywho... the dinner was delightful and the conversation was scandalous! It ranged from being accused of sleeping with one's own father (don't ask... but rest assured that there were no confessions of incest), injuring yourself for the sake of pleasure and secret toy chests.

Group shot!

Geoff and I made it a point to touch since we felt so detached from each other in this photo. We're usually cheek to cheek emoting in all of our pics.

My 2 Cents

Okay, so The Mr called me this morning and was all, "Did you read Smack's response to a commenter?!" and I was all, "what are you talking about?" so I had to check it out for myself.

First, if you don't read Smack's blog, you really should. She's hilarious and I like to live out my make-believe NYC life through her.

So, I went back to her blog to see who was stirring up trouble and came across a very long comment exchange. You can read it all here.

I'm not going to comment on the fact that this guy is making a lot of assumptions and just seems like an overall turd because eh, that's not what made me mad and I think Smack's response was fabulous. I'm usually more of the, "Oh yeah? You're a stupid fat head!" responder.

What really made me mad was this statement:
You’re beautiful and white and, from the looks of it, have had the good luck to have been one of the astronomically small proportion of people born in a prosperous western nation.

Yes, she's beautiful and white. So what? I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that this guy is a minority. Actually, based on his statement of "As an illegal immigrant, sometimes itinerant, and former ballet dancer, I know where your coming from"... I know he's a minority. And these, my friends, are the types of people I loathe. (note - I copied and pasted his statement. I know how to properly use your and you're... and I don't even have the strength to comment about the being an 'illegal immigrant').

I am a minority. I am fully aware of my ethnicity/race everywhere I go. Regardless of what anyone says, nobody is color blind. I know when I'm the only one with a hint of color anywhere I go. Its who I am.

What I don't do is sit around and feel put upon because I happen to be a minority. Yes, I may have to work a little harder to get promoted or seen (but that's an entirely different story and I think its more to do with the fact that I'm a woman) or to restrain my anger when other people think its appropriate to make jokes about accents and mannerisms of my culture. But I don't sit here and think that all white people have it easy and therefore couldn't possibly have anything to complain about. That's crap.

I had a flashback to a contractor I worked with recently who actually said, "That's why when white people aren't successful, I say its their own fucking fault. They've had everything handed to them on a silver platter." At that moment, I was embarrassed to be a minority. Its this thought process that keeps a divide between races. Its this thought process that doesn't help this nation, this WORLD, to progress forward. And it doesn't just lay with color. I see it all the time with sexual orientation and it really gets my panties in a bunch.

So after reading the "put upon minority"s comment to Smack, I wanted to track him down, kick him in the balls and tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP because its people like him that make it harder for people like me. People like me who believe that we're all capable of CHANGE, of moving forward, of progressing. Because without this hope, what the fuck is the point of doing anything?

Stupid turd!

Keeping it Classy

So Rob, the groom of the wedding I just went to in Puerto Rico, forwarded me the BAJILLION pictures from his wedding photographer, Noel Del Pilar. Seriously, there were 925 frickin' pictures.

I can't really judge. I think our wedding photographer handed us several discs with a ton of photos. But seriously - there was a lot. I wonder how hard it is for a photographer to weed through photos. I feel like I would definitely want to remove all photos where I felt the person didn't look very flattering but I guess you never know what someone wants. I tend to focus on things rather than people anyways.

So, I was flipping through the photos online wondering if I made it into any of the shots. You know - because its all about me sometimes. And of course, in true Twink fashion, I found them. And I have to say, I am a classy bitch.

This is me and Maria getting ready for a fantastic photo.


Oooh yeah. Bet you didn't see that coming? Two classy ladies bumping chests. Maria got a lot more air than I did but I was afraid of knocking her over. I'm twice her size.


But let's not forget about the running man! Where was the sprinkler?


I sent all of the photos to The Mr. who noted that he wasn't really in any of them but then I found this. It was the last photo in the album and I'm pretty sure its him saying, "Man - we need a better flash." because that's all he really said about the photos.


So since I look like a turd in these, I'm going to point you in Maria's direction. Hands down, this is one of the best photos I have ever seen of myself. Look at my skin! My teeth! My raising of the roof (seriously - what was I doing?). Just click the link to see... and then if you're looking for a photographer, HIRE HER.

Good Food, Good Friends

So The Mr and I (and Theresa and Jamie) all had dinner with the fabulous Geoff at his humble, new abode. You can read all about dinner here so I'm not going to go into too many details.

To sum everything up:
- He made a DELISH vegetarian dinner (I always appreciate when friends go the extra mile for me... Like Theresa did on Wednesday night with her delish mushroom risotto and plum tomato tart!)
- Geoff managed to offend Theresa AND violate The Mr.
- We had a great time

Here are some pics (not many... it was sooo dark. Geoff, seriously, how about some more light next time? smooches!):

The wonderful host (seriously - you look H-O-T in this picture!):




The precocious Jamie (look, no evil eyes! and what fab glasses you have, my dear):


Theresa feeding Jamie. Aww...


Moi getting tired of The Mr snapping pictures.


The Mr enjoys the vino.


And the end of the night... No words do this justice.

So C-c-c-cold

Either its ass cold here or I'm having difficulty adjusting to normal Maryland November weather after a trip in hot & humid Puerto Rico. It was just on Monday that I thought I was going to melt walking around San Juan.

I'm kind of tired of posting pictures and it would just be way easier if I could link them from my picasa album, however, in an effort to stay somewhat anonymous - I can't. Stupid picasa has my name on it! However, most of you already know it. But you know... gotta make it difficult to google me. Or the Mr. Although at this point I don't really care if people find me. I'm not that scandalous.

So, I'm going to try to post more pictures. While in Puerto Rico, we managed to make new friends (even though we don't have many photos of some of them) and that's kind of shocking for us. We're really antisocial people on vacation (and that's what we considered this trip).

We definitely weren't that couple on their honeymoon who buddied up with other newlyweds (I think it helped that we honeymooned in The Maldives) and half the time, other people think we don't speak English because we don't talk to them. Its kind of nice. While I am a social person at home, its tough on vacation because I really just want to veg out and not worry about making plans. However, on this particular trip - everyone was so fun that it was hard not too although we were probably the quietest of the bunch. But hey - we only really knew each other!

This post is dedicated to the new friends (and Maria, don't think I'm kidding when I call you and Drew our new white/asian BFF couple!):

Kelly likies the drinkies...


Factor is VERY pretty.


The emotion game! Lindsay and Carlo were great sports. I believe this one is, "I just won the lotto!" Although there were many "Carlo just farted" pictures.


I think this is me telling the girls that I am a giant compared to them.


The Mr. took A LOT of photos of Maria and her camera. I felt like they were having a "shoot off". We just needed David Bowie to officiate.


Our new asian/white BFF couple! Seriously, you guys take such nice photos together. The Mr and I always look constipated.


And sake bombs!! This was a lot of fun.


We met lots of other super nice people and it would be cool if they all blogged. Luckily, I am able to openly stalk Kelly, Maria and Justine and read all about their lives and comment as I please.

No Use Crying Over Spilled Oatmeal

I'm kind of bored with talking about Puerto Rico already. So instead, I'm going to talk about the fuckwit security guard in my office building who caused me to spill half of my breakfast on him yesterday morning.

Everyone knows that there is an unspoken rule of where you walk down a hall. Its like the rules of the road. You walk in the center towards the right side. This prevents people from running into each other around corners and makes for smooth passing of other walkers.

Apparently turdy security guard didn't get the memo.

I was walking my usual way to the microwave to heat up my oatmeal (don't judge me, oatmeal mixed with some raisins and a banana is delicious and my source of fiber everyday) after I had filled the bowl with some ridiculously hot water. Well, when I rounded the corner, the turd was on the LEFT SIDE and I ran smack into him and spilled half of my breakfast on him.

Douchebag!

He looked at me like, "You're a whore" instead of, "Oh crap - I am totally walking on the wrong side, aren't I?"

He found me later in the day and said, "Don't worry, I got most of it off my shirt." I wanted to poop on him.

I'm gunning for him now. I'm bringing extra oatmeal and if I see him on the wrong side of the hall, I'm throwing it at him.

And... good morning, everyone!

I'll continue talking about PR later because I have fifty bajillion pictures to post (mostly of Linday, Carlo, Maria and Drew... seriously, did we just take a vacation together?).

Pool of Mushy Goo

Hot damn, I'm pooped. I hate returning home from a vacation when its ass cold out and I have a million little errands to run. And lots of laundry. And class. And lots of people to call about my wedding weekend extravaganza.

So, first of all - hi to everyone. I had a super surreal moment over the weekend in that I was recognized from my blog (hi Kathleen!). I'm kind of a nut about who reads my blog (thank you, sitemeter) and have seen that people from all over read this shizz. It surprises me and flatters me because I feel like if you don't really know me in life, you wouldn't really find this entertaining. A lot of my friends say that they hear my voice in their heads as they read this (and that's either a really good thing, or wow... I am SO sorry).

Anywho - awhile ago, Hillary (hi Hillary!) left a comment on my blog. She had randomly found it through Nanette's blog and it turned out we were going to the same wedding. Weird! And I'm not going to lie, my rectum clenched up when I thought, "Oh shit - I hope she doesn't think I was talking shit on the bride to be" because while I sort of was, it was one of those situations where I had no problems being upfront with the girl and BTB's husband knew the sitch.

Well... The Mr. and I were eating some overpriced breakfast at the hotel and I saw him wave hello to someone. Before I turned around, I asked "who are you waving to?" and through an awkward clenched smile he whispered, "I have no idea".

So over walks this woman, with a VERY Texan accent (and I swear it just makes everything sound better... a Baltimore accent consists of using words like 'hon' and 'hey essai' or 'mama cita... aiy yay yay'). She looked at me and said, "I read your blog and I just love it!"

After unchoking from my $10 piece of toast, I turned red and sat there like a turd. She introduced herself, complimented the pics we've been taking and seriously? Made me feel awesome. Guys, I am awesome. I know I say this daily but seriously, I was recognized. For my blog. Suck on that!

Alright, because I made an oath to blog daily I'm going to stretch out the weekend stuff over the next few days but here is everything in a nutshell:
- The place was crazy expensive
- The weather was super humid but sunny
- The wedding was lovely
- I should never form judgements about 'adults' because these ladies put me to shame on the dancefloor
- Nobody should ever tell me things that will make me angry when I'm drinking
- I should have packed more accessories
- I have a strong desire to buy more leopard print
- PR kept me regular
- The Mr. sucks at gambling
- I talked about blogging way too much and may or may not have made some folks uncomfortable with the amount of stuff I was able to regurgitate back to them about their lives since I read about it
- The Mr. spent a good portion interviewing Maria about photography and now has a strong desire to "go into business" so we can write everything off

... and that's it for now. As for pictures, here are a few of the hotel to tide you over: