An Open Letter to My Credit Card Company:
The phone representative that I spoke to at 10:20am on Thursday, November 15th is an idiot.
Your website sucks too.
When I'm trying to add another bank account to my credit card, it shouldn't be this difficult. I'm trying to PAY YOU. WITH MONEY! Asking for a "security word" without any sort of hint as to what it is makes no sense. How the hell am I supposed to know? That's why other credit card companies invented "Security Questions".
Phone rep, how do you have a job? Is your job to upset people? If so, you deserve an A+, fuckwit. When I call you to add another bank account to my credit card, don't ask me if I want to sign up for other programs.
When you asked if I wanted to add an authorized user and I SPECIFICALLY said that I didn't want to add another person I want to add another BANK ACCOUNT, don't proceed to ask me questions about the new authorized user.
I hate you. If I'm not all pooped out from pooing on my team members, I'm pooping on you. POOOOP.
Fuckwit.
Sincerely,
Mrs Twink
Showing posts with label open letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label open letter. Show all posts
Thursday, November 15, 2007
An Open Letter: Grad School Team
An Open Letter to My Team in My Grad School Class:
You guys suck. How did you even get accepted into Graduate school? Going to graduate school implies that you had graduated from an undergraduate university with a bachelor's degree. This implies that you might be somewhat smart... but if not smart, at least that you're able to produce work.
I have yet to see any of the aforementioned qualities.
One of you works full-time. How do you maintain a job? You're an idiot. You don't seem to comprehend basic mathmatical equations. You bombed the first exam. You're a software programmer! You're supposed to be skilled in math. Skilled with logic. Skilled with ability to understand requirements and execute them. And yet - when I convey the high-level requirements of our project, you make me explain them to you in a thousand different ways. I've even drawn you pictures. YOU STILL DON'T GET IT. For god's sake, we're making a database of DOGS.
And you, the other one... YOU'RE HERE ON A FULL SCHOLARSHIP! How did you earn a scholarship? Maybe you are somewhat mentally handicapped and in that respect, you have come a long way. I don't think that you can medically be classified as handicapped. You're just dumb.
We've had 2 full months to at least begin working on our project. In these months, I have come up with the project, laid out a high-level design of the project, written the proposal AND the progress report. I've even cured cancer. Okay... not the last one but would you have noticed? No. You guys are turds.
Now we have 3 weeks left to work on a project that was supposed to take 3 months. When I ask you to help me solidify real detailed design, you don't get it. You don't understand anything.
I want to hit you. Then when you're on the ground recovering from my mighty blow, I'm going to poop on you. Then I'm going to wipe my butt with your velour track suit. And then I'll try to spit on you.
You guys suck.
Sincerely,
The most awesome business analyst ever
P.S. I just want to reitirate how dumb you guys are. When we're "brainstorming" what characteristics we should query on when selecting the best dog breed, don't call out "Gender". I'm pretty sure every breed of dog comes in female or male. Dumbass.
You guys suck. How did you even get accepted into Graduate school? Going to graduate school implies that you had graduated from an undergraduate university with a bachelor's degree. This implies that you might be somewhat smart... but if not smart, at least that you're able to produce work.
I have yet to see any of the aforementioned qualities.
One of you works full-time. How do you maintain a job? You're an idiot. You don't seem to comprehend basic mathmatical equations. You bombed the first exam. You're a software programmer! You're supposed to be skilled in math. Skilled with logic. Skilled with ability to understand requirements and execute them. And yet - when I convey the high-level requirements of our project, you make me explain them to you in a thousand different ways. I've even drawn you pictures. YOU STILL DON'T GET IT. For god's sake, we're making a database of DOGS.
And you, the other one... YOU'RE HERE ON A FULL SCHOLARSHIP! How did you earn a scholarship? Maybe you are somewhat mentally handicapped and in that respect, you have come a long way. I don't think that you can medically be classified as handicapped. You're just dumb.
We've had 2 full months to at least begin working on our project. In these months, I have come up with the project, laid out a high-level design of the project, written the proposal AND the progress report. I've even cured cancer. Okay... not the last one but would you have noticed? No. You guys are turds.
Now we have 3 weeks left to work on a project that was supposed to take 3 months. When I ask you to help me solidify real detailed design, you don't get it. You don't understand anything.
I want to hit you. Then when you're on the ground recovering from my mighty blow, I'm going to poop on you. Then I'm going to wipe my butt with your velour track suit. And then I'll try to spit on you.
You guys suck.
Sincerely,
The most awesome business analyst ever
P.S. I just want to reitirate how dumb you guys are. When we're "brainstorming" what characteristics we should query on when selecting the best dog breed, don't call out "Gender". I'm pretty sure every breed of dog comes in female or male. Dumbass.
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